Time & Place

I had one of the sweetest dream ever. It' about this girl. I should say i have some feelings for her.

Some people might say, "if you like her then why not go for her?" well i wished things were that simple. It' real life, people are restricted by time and place. If it ain't right, even if there's mutual feelings and all, it might end as a happy story.

I brushed my feelings and thoughts away initially, compressing it. Telling myself to stay as friends. That was how things went. I kept my distance and friends we remained. One fine day she told me she was finally attached. That moment, was like an arrow piercing into my heart. I was shocked myself. It was then i realised i did had some feelings no matter how much it was. It was always there.

Part of me regretted for not going after her, but i knew that if i were to go after her and succeed things would be tough. Like mentioned earlier cox of the time and place. Even if i could be the best boyfriend any girl would dream of, i might not be able to do as much as someone who has time and place on his side.

So now, here i am being "the faithful understanding friend", "the brother", "the guardian angel" supporting and cheering her on. Being a friend from a comfortable distance. At least i stil have her friendship. For that, i'm thankful.




"Someday we'll know why Samson loved Delilah"

Ashamed, fooled, tricked. That's how i feel now. It' like being naked in front of the whole population of earth. each of them pointing ad laughing. I finally know how Adam felt when he took the "apple" from eve, or how samson felt when delilah betrayed him.

Time has passed since I've lost contact with her. Yes "her", i never did got to forget her. Eventhough i have kept myself busy with my work, her image was stil stuck in my head. She did tried to start some conversations with me, but i ignored. Knowing that it's best for us both that we part our ways for good. I ca stil faintly remember her last msg she ever sent.

"You're so cold now, why won't you reply any of my msges?. Is it cox of that night?". Minutes later.. "Fine, if that's what you want, the friendship that you treasured may be gone. If that' what you wish". I could only read in silence. The silent "goodbye" was painful yet necessary.

*SLAP* I smacked the bloody bloodsucking mosquito. Waking myself from my daze at the same time. I wondered what was the reason for me not to forget her. I went out with countless of other girls yet....sigh.

I thought back of the time we were stil friends. I was stil in college, doing my weekly assignments. Plagued by msges from others, I slowly made progress on my work. As usual i was chatting with "her" while bombarded with msges from others. Crap talk, ppl asking for advice, girls looking for attention. I remembered that i would luv to tell them all to shut the fuck up but being who i am, i politely, slowly replied them all.

It was after midnight when most of them lest, did i have a quiet conversation with her. We were talking about crushes.

Ahh, crush, ahhh
I see ya blowin' me a kiss
It doesn't take a scientist
To understand what's going on baby
If you see something in my eye
Let's not over analyze
Don't go too deep with it baby
So let it be what it'll be
Don't make a fuss and get crazy over you and me
Here's what I'll do
I'll play loose
It's not like we have a day with destiny
It's just a little crush (crush)
Not like I faint every time we touch
It's just some little thing (crush)
Not like everything I do depends on you
It's raising my adrenaline
You're banging on a heart of tin
Please don't make too much of it baby
You say the word "forevermore"
That's not what I'm looking for
All I can commit to is "maybe

That was what i told her, quoted from Jennifer Paige's Crush. "You seem to take love lightly, well what more can i expect from someone who can get any girl he wants?" I could only smirk and raise my eyebrows. Yeah right, i thought. "But i can see that you have a crush don't you?" She continued. She then spent the next hour or so pestering me, trying to get me to tell. Using all sorts of ways she bugged me. I thought to myself, WTF are you trying to do?. I can't just say, Oi it's you!. But it sounded as if she already knew who my crush was, like she was just getting me to admit it.

But sadly the tiredness got the better of me. Without knowing i accidently gave in and spilled the beans. Without thinking. The next moment, i was in shock. The seconds seemed like hours I couldn't believe i just said that. She was shocked but she acted normal. I played cool, making it looked like she's just the flavour of the week, no biggie. Not long we soon bid each other goodnight. Come to think of it, that was probably our last conversation.

It was after shutting down my pc, reality sunk in. I swore to myself to keep it a secret, and i mesed things up myself. Feeling confused and all, i pondered upon my mistake, thinking what my next move would be I knew no matter what, the next meeting would be somehow awkward. That was when i decided to end it for good. That was the "night" "she" was refering to.

I woke from my daze AGAIN, blinking my eyes. That was the road that i took that lead me here. Being at such a distance from her. It was just a crush, some little thing. That may be the problem with things. I couldn't understand my own feelings. From young when i told my buddys that i liked this girl, i couldn't find the answer when they asked why. Guess that's that, my feeling is all that's needed. Not her looks, not the time we spent together. Good or bad? that's up to the individual. To me, that's my curse.


Someday We'll Know - New Radicals.

90 miles outside Chicago
Can't stop driving
I don't know why
So many questions
I need an answer
Two years later, you're still on my mind
Whatever happened to Emilia Earhart
Who holds the stars up in the sky
Is true love once in a lifetime
Did the captain of the Titanic cry
Someday we'll know
If love can move a mountain
Someday we'll know
Why the sky is blue
Someday we'll know
Why I wasn't meant for you
Does anybody know the way to Atlantis
Or what the wind says when she cries
I'm speeding by the place where I met you
For the 97th time tonight
(chorus)
Someday we'll know
Why Samson loved Delilah
One day I'll go
Dancing on the moon
Someday you'll know
That I was the one for you
I bought a ticket to the end of the rainbow
I watched the stars crash in the sea
If I could ask God just one question
Why aren't you here with me?

So, what do you guys think?. Entertaining?.

Till you, I was nothing but lonely nights
There was nothing but sad goodbye's
For me to fall through
Come true my dreams are awakening
Somebody is making me
The only one in the room
What nobody could do,
Nobody till you... -Lindsay.



>Jenny and the fool

Well, i met Jenny a couple days back. I was walking around a shopping centre to get some stuff when i saw a famliar face. We were surprised to see each other. Since we haven't contacted each other for awhiile we decided to have a drink and have a chat.

Jenny and I came from the ame high school. In fact Jenny was "her" close friend. So well, this meant i couldn't avoid the topic about "her".

J: Hey, i heard you lot contact with her..

Me:Erm....yea

J: YOU FOOL!

Me: WHAT?

J:sigh, why didn't you went after her?. I encouraged you didn't I?

Me: Erm, well. I duno. Was probably uncertained, unconfident?

J: YOU FOOL! Well even so, at least try ma. It's better to go down fighting than juts surrendering in the firt place

Me: Yea, i know. I regretted

J: YOU FOO!, you see?

Me: STop it with the fool thingy will ya?

J: Well seriously, if yuo did went after her, you'd actually stand a good chance.

Me: Ah, really now?

J: Yea, she metioned bout you to me quite often. She didn't really admitted but i as her cloe friend could see that there was at least some feelings.

Me: Ooo, well thx for the tip. You're a great help. NOT!. Why don't you wait for me to get married then only tell me?

J: FOOL!, you're a man, you got to take the initiative, take things under control

Me: HUH?

J: FOOL!

Me: Well, it's not like i can turn back time. Ntg i can do.

J: Of cox you can't, you're a fool!. FOOLS can't do anything.

Me: -_-" OOI!, what's yur problem ah?

J: Sigh, you could be sitting here with her now.

Me: Whatever, so how is "she" anyways?

J: She's at US, doing her degree. Got a boyfriend. BOYFRIEND!!!

Me: What's with that emphasis?..Is she happy? How's her bf like?

J: why do you care?. Well, i can't really say, I haven't been contacting her much.You know, with the different time zones and all. Hm, her boyfirned, no idea. But you see, if you went after her, I'm sure she'd be probably more happier. Well i'm sure I'd be, cox i won't need to answer all ur annoying questions. But some Fool just..

Me: IF YOU EVER MENTION THAT WORD AGAIN, I SWEAR I"M GONNA STANGLE YOU!

J: SOWREE laaa

Me: What you expect me to do? Go fly to US and suddenly pop up in her life after being out of the picture for so long? Then what?, go break her up wid her boyfiend?

J: Well, i won't be against that thought.

Me: YOU MAD women, nobody want's a 3rd party in a relationship. It might be for the better and all but stil. That's not what i do as i'm a good decent guy.

J: *chokes on her ice blended* yea right. A foo.....er..dum dum is more like it.

Me: -_-"

J: You're being selfish, thinking that you're thinking of her when you just stay out of her life. You think by carrying all the lonely burden is very "wai tai" meh?

Me: Since when i...

J:I'm not finished she might be having a hard time cox your foolish doings.

Me: Huh?

J: Well imagine that she actually liked you, but yuo did nothing. Eventually she gave in to someone else.

Me: well, Means she like that other fella more looooooooooo

J: How you know?. it could be that she thought you didn't have any interest in her in the first place.

Me: So?

J: So you won't even know if she actually liked you the most right?

Me: Er..true.

J:Such a fool

*phone rings*

J:well i gtg now. Gotta meet up with my honey now I'll leave you to your lonely life.

Me: I ain't lonely, i stil got my hing tai chi muis, my pals..etc

J: But got lover anot? Dun have maaa

Me: Just shut up.

J: Hehe nice talkig wid ya anyways. Ciao

Me: Yea, likewise.

After walking a few steps, she turned back,

J: what would you do if you had a 2nd chance?

Me: Then, i would appreciate it and make use of it.

She just smiled and walked away.

With my ice blended and cigarette to accompany me, i realised that Jenny was right. I AM a fool. I didn't think from "her" perspective. sigh

Thx to Jenny, the thought of "her" got reignited and lingered in my mind. When i was heading back lyrics from songs playing struck the chords of my soul. It weaken my emotions even more. Before i know it, tears came rolling down. As the tears starts to blur my vision, i quickly switched my player off. The heartache was too unbearable..

Jenny's confession.

A couple days after my meeting with Jenny, she added me at msn. We chatted quite alot. From usual humour to heart pouring sessions. She is going through some tough time with her "honey". Hah, brag infront of me summore.

Well, one night she called me out. Since i was free, i went to meet her. Her eyes was swollen. Shocked i asked her what's up?. She instantly cried on my shoulder, causing me to swirve a lil. (I was driving). I quickly found a quite place to park and consoled her.

After awhile, she told me she had broke up with her bf. When i asked why, she look straight at my eyes for a few minutes. Puzzled and feeling awkward i switch my focus around trying to avoid her weird eye contact. Finally i broke the silence. "hello?".

She sighed and looked down. "You" she mumbled. "Huh?. Pardon?". " Cause of you" she said in a more clearer voice. "Huh?. What i do?" i replied. "Cause i like you, you fool" she said in a near shouting tone. That sentence caused me to jump alil. Lots of things went through my mind. "You gotta be joking right?" i said. She shook her head.

"Erm, i don't know what to say". Finally she looked at me. "You're a great guy, i just can't help it" she said. "But breaking up won't do anything, jen". "You don't like me do you?" "Erm, it ain't that, you're a nice and attractive gal just that..". " It's "her" isn't it?. You can't let her go can't you?" she said, as she got teary again. "well, i don't know"

"How big a fool can you be?, she has probably forgotten bout you and you're stil waiting?" "I'm not" "Then? you should move with life just like she did long ago". "Ermm" *SLAP* Jenny slapped me. "WTF?". "Do you know how much it hurts to see the one you luv, luving someone else?. And you cant do anything? she said crying. "WELL YEA!" i shouted. "It's no use waiting for "her", she ain't coming back to you...." she replied. "I..i."

She then, jumped on me. Hugging me, crying. "Plz don't leave me, don't reject me." I looked at her, not knowing what to do , or say....

New light.

I put my hands on Jenny's shoulder and lightly pushed her away. "I'm sorry Jen, but you're just a close friend to me". She wept more and remained at her seat. I then drove her back. She didn't say anythnig and just went back. I thought that i should give her some time to cool down, so i only called her 2 days later.

To my surprise, her number isn't used anymore. Then i decided to pay her a visit. She's gone. Sigh, that really saddened me. This is the kind of thing i feared the most. When things don't turn up right, beautiful friendships will be lost. I just walked off feeling low.

But as time pass, i began to look at the positive side of things and led life normally. One night, i was hanging out at a pub with my pals. It was the normal drinking, joking and all. Then a few girls came in. There was this hot sexy girl which attracted the attention of all the guys in the pub. But i wasn't interested i her, it's her friend that really attracted me. She got that cute, playful look. Yet, she seemed all mature and sexy.

So, as the night went on, some of my pals became drunk and the small dance floor is already full with many guys surrounding that hot sexy chick. But her friend is drinking alone at the table. Hm, so i thought that i should at least keep her company.

"Hi!, why aren't you dancing?" I said. "Well, dancing ain't really my stuff" she replied. "I'm ............ can i join you?" " sure" hehe JACKPOT i thought. So the conversation went on. Her name is Nicole. She seemed to be the bright and serious type. Yet i could sense a playful and fun girl hidden inside her. We managed to exchange numbers and we soon started chatting on the phone.

Our relationship blossomed well. We clicked like we were long lost best friends. The attraction for each other was just great. So i thought that i should ask her to become my girlfriend. The whle thing jut seemed perfect. Finally!, i thought to myself. After all these relationship problems, God is finally smilling on me. I planned to ask her over dinner.

So, during the eveing i went to ther office to pick her up. She asked me to go up and get her cox she's usually too caught up with her work to notice the time. That's just what i did, after going through the reception and all, i went up to her office. She's some telecommunications manager, pretty high post for a young gal like that.

As i walked through her office area, i walked pass all the cubicles. Many of them packing up and leaving. They all throw stares at me, wondering who i was. But as i pass the last cubicle, the one closest to Nicole's room, the girl there caught my attention. She looked really familiar yet i couldn't find a name for that face. She noticed me walking pass and looked at me, she too seemed to know me. But i headed into Nicole's room before anything happened.

I soon forgot bout the girl as the soon to be girl of mine is right infront of me. "Hi, Nic working hard huh?" i said" "Hi, don't worry i'll be done in a sec" she replied smiling. I sat in the chair right infront of her. Sigh, she just looks so cute working like that. "Hm?, you checking me out?" she joked "Er.....nah, just "entertaining" myelf" i replied.

After awhile, she was done and we soon headed out. As we were walking towards the lift, the girl from the cubicle just exited the ladies as we pass her. "Hey, is that you .......?" I heard her say. Surprised as she knew my name, i turned back. "It's really you!" she continued.I gave a sheepish smile and try to recall who she was. "I'm ........("her")" she said. WHOA. that moment was like an electric jolt going through my body. "Wow, you changed so much!!!, back in M'sia i see" i said. "You 2 know each other?" Nicole said. "Yea, we were highschool mates" she said. "Yeap," "Hey, i won't bother you guys, but can i have ur number so we can do some catching up or sumthing?" she said.

After exchanging numbers we smiled at each other and i left with Nicole. "OOo, long lost friends huh?" she aid in a lil jealous tone. "Aw, yea kinda" i put my arms around her waist to secure her. I was totally in luv with Nicole, although meeting back "her" at a time like this is extremely awkward. I got no more feelings for "her" yet the old memories came back. I was much more silent that night.

Nicole reached out to my hands during dinner. "What's wrong? something bothering you?" she asked. "Er, no. not feeling to well i think" i said. I just gotta say some excuse. That night was supposed to be special but i couldn't just find the feel and all to throw the question out. Was it cox of "her"?. How could that be?. i have no feelings for her anymore. That night ending like that. It was nice and all but stil i didn't ask her the question. Nvm, i thought. I'll ask her the next time i see her then.

When i reached home, i did my usual stuff and before i slept, i reached out for my handphone to set the alarm as usual. But i notieced that, there was a msg. Hm, so as i read, it was from "her". She just told me how happy she was to see me again and all. Hm.... i thought. OKAAYY. So i just replied her with some usual friendly way. I then switched off my lights and went to bed.

Few seconds later, i was rudely and SUDDENLY awaken by my phone. It rang. i quickly answered "errr hello?" i blurly said. "Oh, are you sleeping?!. It's ME!!!"the voice said. Oh, it's "her". "Urgh......kinda"i replied. "Oh sorry, i did'nt know then i'll talk to you later?. Hey, could you call me tomorrow night?" she said. "yea yea sure" i said halfly awake "Great! c ya then nitez!" she said. "Ur.byez.." i said.

The next day when i called up Nicole, she somehow sounded that she was in a bad mood "Erm, Nic? in a bad mood?" I asked "I thought we both liked each other" "Huh?, yea, that's right" "How can that be when there's "her"" "What? what about her?" " Jen told me bout you and her" "Jen? as in ur sister Jenny?" "Yeaaaa..." "Wait, how could she,," "You rejected her a year back remember?" HOLY shit, it was the same Jenny. OMG.. and Nicole just has to be her sister of all person. "What did she say?, nothing happened between me and "her"" "she told me all that i need to know!!" "YOU LIAR!. I HATE YOU!!!" she shouted before slamming the phone

That sentence struck my heart. It hurt me so much. I threw my phone. "GOD DAMN IT!!" i shouted, throwing a couple of punches to the wall. I punched til my knuckle bled. "ARGH!!" "Nothing ever turns out right!". After a few minutes i managed to stay a lil more calm. I then tried to call Nicole back but she wouldn't answer. I then decided to go look for her at her house.

As i was leaving i received a call. Thinking it was Nicole i asnwered without checking. "Hey! you promised to call!" the voice on the other side said. "HUH!?" i checked the phone and realised it was "her". But she sounded scared and was crying. "Er, what's up, i'm kinda in some situation now." "But i really need you now, i'm having a problem now please help!!!" the line then got cut. I can't even call "her" back. "GREAT!!! ****ing GREAT!"

GOOD CHARLOTTE- THE TRUTH


"The Truth"
So here we are
We are alone
There’s weight on your mind
I wanna know

The truth
If this is how you feel
Say it to m
eIf this was ever real
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me[x2]
I want the truth

So this is you
You're talking to me
You found a million ways to let me down
So I’m not hurt when you’re not around
I was blind
But now I see
This is how you feel
Just say it to me
If this was ever real
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me[x2]

I know that this will break me
I know that this might make me cry
You gotta say what’s on your mind, on your mind
I know that this will hurt me
And break my heart and soul inside
But I don’t wanna live this lie

Iwant the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts me
I want the truth from you
Give me the truth even if it hurts
I don’t care no more, no
Just give me the truth
Give me the truth'Cause I don’t care no more
Give me the truth'Cause I don’t care no more, no
Just give me the truthGive me the truth
Give me the truthGive me the truth
Give me the truth'Cause I don’t care no more, no


Tragic

I chose to go for nicole. I couldn't afford any more mistakes. The girl of my dreams is right i front of me. I will not risk making anymore mistakes. Nicole comes first.So i got into my Evo and raced down the road, tionging every car in my way. Fortunately Nicole doesn't stay far away. I soon reached her home and raced up the stairs. halfway catching my breath i rang the bell. Jenny answered, "what you want?"(shit color for her) Stil breathing heavily, "nicole....plz" "she doesn't want to see you!" "why are you doing this to me? let me see her plz jen!" "Don't you jen me, i ain't clse to you or nething pal" "Comon....." At that moment nicole appeared. "Why are you here?" she said tears stil rolling down her eyes. "I have to explain things, i need to talk to you alone nic. plz?" "What more do i have to know?" "The truth" "She already knows the truth!" "Stay out of this jen!" "WTF?, who are you to talk to me like that?" i decided to ignore jenny. I looked straight at nicole' eyes. "Plz nicole, give me a chance" i was close to tears, plz..". "ok" nicole then opened the door for me, Jenny tried to stop her "SIS, plz.." I went in to nicole's room and start telling her the story. The truth.

It seemed that Jenny twisted the story. She was really devastated by the rejection and she grew hatred upon me. Nicole didn't know who to trust. She was really broken and all. I touched nicole's hand, "i'm serious bout us, trust me" In the end she looked at me and hugged me. She cried. "I'll never do aything to hurt you, let me protect and take care of you" She nodded with her head on my chest. It was beautiful. After awhile, she stopped crying and looked at me. i smiled at her and wiped her tears.We then went out, holding each other's hands. We saw jenny outside. "what is this?"

"Comon, give it a rest" suddenly Jenny slapped me. "I'm her big sis!, i forbid this!" "WTF!?, why do you always have to slap me?, don't you get it, i luv nicole and she luvs me" "no you don't!, you belong to "her" the girl you're ever so faithful to" "that was a long time ago, i've totally forgotten her already. I got no feelings for her!" "What if i tell you she stil got feelings for you?" "I, i....I dun care, nicole's all i want" "That's bullshit!, i don't believe it!" i raised my hands and fling it towards jenny face, but i held it back. Controling my self. she squeeled a lil. "You can't slap my sis!, no matter what, she's stil my sis!"

The situation was chaotic. the 3 of us suddenly started arguing with each other. Nicole told me to leave, so that all of us could cool down. I agreed and left. I don't wanna be in that hell. As i got in my car, i reflected on ther situation. Things are never perfect. There's always a catch. Sigh. Tears slowly rolled down. I just sat there trying to get a hold of myself. Trying to find a way out of the situation.

I decided that it's better to think back at the comfort of my home. So i drove back. On the way i saw a horrible accident. A wreckage of a couple of cars. It was already 2 in the morning and there wasn't many cars, so i stopped to see if i could help. As i slowed down to a stop, someone from the wreckage got out and ran to one of the cars involved in the accident and drove off. I felt something was wrong and wanted to give a chase but i saw movments in the wrecked car. So i ran out of my car and went over to that car. To my shock it was "her" all drenced in blood, her eyes barely open. "OMFG!" i quickly carried her and raced her to the nearest hospital.
The doc told me that she was in a critical state. "OMG, she really was having some trouble!, shit!, it's my fault!". "ARGH!" I would like to stay with "her" that night but i was drenched with her blood and i needed to change. So i headed back

My mind was in a mess, first is was Nicole's problem now this. It really seemed that god is playing with my life. Placing me through many trials. Feeling all so blur and messed up, i couldn't really drive properly. When i pass a junction, one drunk fella was speeding down the other road. Right when i noticed, it was too late, we collided and the next thing was blank. It was all dark, images of nicole and "her" floated around me. It was after awhile when i felt an immense amount of pain. i awoke at the hospital. doctors around me. "whoa, you got in some huge freak accident, you're lucky to be alive" for some reason i couldn't feel my legs. I looked down but it's stil there. "Doc, my legs..." "Yea, bout that, i'm sorry we did all we could..but i think you may be paralyzed the legs down. But don't worry, patients usually recover but the only problem is how long will it take?" I just stared blankly at the ceiling. Tears came down."Just kill me doc, i can't go on living anymore"

"Son, don't give in, a true champio will always fight on. This champion is the one who lasts til the end, he'll be rewarded hansomely" I kept quiet and just lay there. Feeling all helpless, i just stayed there, thinking bout life. Unable to move and all, i did alot of thinking.
Days later i was shifted from the ICU to the normal wad. Everything was the same, until i shifted my head and looked at the other patient inside. surprisingly it was "her" i totally forgotten bout "her". She was all bandaged up, having cast on her legs and hands. "Whoa, what r u doin here?" "I was the one who brought you in, but when i was on the way back, this happened, sigh" "OMG!!!, what happened?" "Collided with another car, probably can't walk" "OMG! *gasp*" "What happened to you in the first place?" "Well, i received some threats from some stalker and i realised i was being tailed, that was when i called you, they soon chased me and i couldn't get away, they then banged my car, after that things was blurry i couldn't remember much" "No wonder, when i saw ur car there were ppl running away, hm."
We then continued talking and all since we can't do anything else. After awhile Nicole came. "OMG!!!, what happened to you? i just heard!!! Are you ok?". "I held my head low, i dun think i'm able to walk" "WHAT? OMG!!" "Don't worry baby, i'll be with you.." "Thx... we hugged" After awhile she noticed "her". "Whoa, you're here too?" We then told nicole the whole story.
"Wow, that.. really was something."

It's really ironic how fate suddenly twists and connects each others life. I can see the lil sense of insecurity in Nicole's eyes knowing that i'll be with "her" alone for quite awhile. Weeks pass. Nicole visited me frequetly and encouraged me as i underwent the therapy to get my legs to work again. At the same time, i really bonded with "her", we really chatted alot and encouraged each other. We were really close but as friends. Soon, "she" has almost fully recovered and she was ready to leave. I was happy for her, but stili i knew that i'll be much more lonelier. I stil kept contact with "her" through the phone and she visits once in awhile.

How time flies, 3 months has past already. Although i'm making good progress and i'll be able to fully walk, emotionly i wasn't to stable. Don't get me wrong, i was as close to Nicole as ever. She stil frequently visits me. I have full trust on her. But i heard rumours from my friends that guys were going after her and she might be seeing them. I brushed their rumours away telling them it's rubbish. I even got into some small fight with some of my close frenz cox of this. But it was cox it's really imposible for Nicole to do that. She's an angel. She calls me every night, visits me twice a week, brings homemade soup for me, encourage me, luvs me. I know that it' s just some lame rumour.

Finally i have fully recovered and was ready to leave the hospital. I didn't tell anyone as i want to surprise them. Especially Nicole. I was so happy, as i was packing i received a call. It was "her". "Hi!," "hi, how are you today?" "Reeeally good!, what's up?" "I don't know if you want to know this, but it's kind of a bad news, but as a friend i tot at least you should know" "Hm, ok go on" "It's bout Nicole and another guy" "Aw comon, what's with you guys?. It's all rubbish, they're probbaly just friends or sumthing" "Well, yea i know too, but there's this manager from another dept.." "Stop it!, plz....don't you join the others" "I knew that you won't believe but just that happened to be in the same cinema as them just now and.....well, they're at a restraurant now but not like you can check for yourself"


Til Death do we part

I decided to check out the restaurant even though i know that i'll see nothing. But ""she" is my good close friend. I do have some level of trust in her. I then called "her" back. "Hey, sorry for shouting at you, erm i guess i would like to check out what you said" "erm, no prob. But how? you're at the hospital" "Nah, i'm just discharged i can walk like normal now" "OH REALLY? THAT"S GOOD!" "Yea, so where is it?" "Do you know the Pink Lotus restaurant at Bukit Bintang?" "The WHAT?, er...guess not" "Lol, thought so, it's a new romantic restaurant. Erm, i'll meet you at Starhill then. Be quick, i'm not sure how long more they will be there" "ok, i'll be there in around 10 mins"

I took at cab there and i met up with "her" "Yo!, so whre are they?" "Come come, Ooo, you've really recovered" "Yea, but my legs stil feels a lil weak" We soon reached at this Pink Lotus place. But there's no sign of Nicole. "Hm....yea, so whre are they?" "Shit!, i think they left" Feeling a little annoyed i just gave "her" the fed up look. "Hey!, don't look at me like that, i know what you're thinking but, it's true! they were here!." "Yea sure" i said sarcastically. "sigh i give up, it' my fault then. Come on, i'll buy you a drink for making you come all the way here for nothing"

We then headed to Coffebean and had a drink. we chatted normal stuff when i saw the last thing i would like to see. It was Nicole and another guy, walking hand in hand they looked happy walking around. I was speechless. The rumours were true. I really wanted to go run up to the guy and give him a punch. But i knew it'll be useless. "She" soon noticed it and place my her hand on mine. She knew my heart was crushed and then stomped on. It's true, i was horrified and devastated. I'm filled with hatred and disappointment. But i couldn't release it. I just stood up and walked the opposite way, head held low.

"Hey! whre you're going?". i didn't reply, i just kept walking. "She" just followed me, keeping quiet. Probably she's afraid that i would go kill myself. I jut walked around and went to the supermarket. I got myself some beers and cigarettes then i left. In my mind it was blank. It was sadness beyond comprehension. I sat at some park drinking and smoking. Trying to get myself drunk. "You should stop ya know?," "You don't need to keep me company, you got wrk tomorrow you should go back home" "Nah, it's ok...how bout i send you back home first?, " "I don't want to go home, too many memories" "Aren't you going to at least call her and talk things out?" "I don't know, don't ask me so many questions!"

Suddenly i received a msg. It was from msg. It reads: "Hi dear, how r u today? I missed to so much today.. I couldn't enjoy my day with my friends today cox i knew that you're all alone in the hospital. I luv ya! Muaxx." "BULLSHIT!" i threw my phone smashing it against the wall. "WHY?, Why is she doing this?" I then broke down. Burying my head in my arms. "She" patted my back, "it's not the end..." "IT IS THE eND!" "ARgh, it's ok, i'm fine" i the ran back to my house.

I sat on my bed. Thinking if i should pretended i knew nothing and try to win her heart back or just end it. I don't think i can go on if this relationship didn't work out


MARION RAVEN - END OF ME
Hey Stay with me
As I'm getting naked
Stripped down to the bone
Hey I'm afraid
This could get ugly
And I might leave here alone

This is not a mistake I
t's the dawn of a new day
Anything goes from now

[Chorus :]This is the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle
I know it will be the end of me

Hey Talk to me
Don't play me with your silence
Whisper it in my mouth
Cause this is not about hate
It's the start of a new wave
Anything goes from now

[Chorus]

This is not a mistake the dawn of a new day this is not a mistake
HeyStay with me
Hey Stay with me
As I'm getting naked
This is the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle I know it will be It's the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence I
f I'm caught in the middle I
know it will be
The end of me
Hey Yeah...
Til Death do we part

I decided to check out the restaurant even though i know that i'll see nothing. But ""she" is my good close friend. I do have some level of trust in her. I then called "her" back. "Hey, sorry for shouting at you, erm i guess i would like to check out what you said" "erm, no prob. But how? you're at the hospital" "Nah, i'm just discharged i can walk like normal now" "OH REALLY? THAT"S GOOD!" "Yea, so where is it?" "Do you know the Pink Lotus restaurant at Bukit Bintang?" "The WHAT?, er...guess not" "Lol, thought so, it's a new romantic restaurant. Erm, i'll meet you at Starhill then. Be quick, i'm not sure how long more they will be there" "ok, i'll be there in around 10 mins"

I took at cab there and i met up with "her" "Yo!, so whre are they?" "Come come, Ooo, you've really recovered" "Yea, but my legs stil feels a lil weak" We soon reached at this Pink Lotus place. But there's no sign of Nicole. "Hm....yea, so whre are they?" "Shit!, i think they left" Feeling a little annoyed i just gave "her" the fed up look. "Hey!, don't look at me like that, i know what you're thinking but, it's true! they were here!." "Yea sure" i said sarcastically. "sigh i give up, it' my fault then. Come on, i'll buy you a drink for making you come all the way here for nothing"

We then headed to Coffebean and had a drink. we chatted normal stuff when i saw the last thing i would like to see. It was Nicole and another guy, walking hand in hand they looked happy walking around. I was speechless. The rumours were true. I really wanted to go run up to the guy and give him a punch. But i knew it'll be useless. "She" soon noticed it and place my her hand on mine. She knew my heart was crushed and then stomped on. It's true, i was horrified and devastated. I'm filled with hatred and disappointment. But i couldn't release it. I just stood up and walked the opposite way, head held low.

"Hey! whre you're going?". i didn't reply, i just kept walking. "She" just followed me, keeping quiet. Probably she's afraid that i would go kill myself. I jut walked around and went to the supermarket. I got myself some beers and cigarettes then i left. In my mind it was blank. It was sadness beyond comprehension. I sat at some park drinking and smoking. Trying to get myself drunk. "You should stop ya know?," "You don't need to keep me company, you got wrk tomorrow you should go back home" "Nah, it's ok...how bout i send you back home first?, " "I don't want to go home, too many memories" "Aren't you going to at least call her and talk things out?" "I don't know, don't ask me so many questions!"

Suddenly i received a msg. It was from msg. It reads: "Hi dear, how r u today? I missed to so much today.. I couldn't enjoy my day with my friends today cox i knew that you're all alone in the hospital. I luv ya! Muaxx." "BULLSHIT!" i threw my phone smashing it against the wall. "WHY?, Why is she doing this?" I then broke down. Burying my head in my arms. "She" patted my back, "it's not the end..." "IT IS THE eND!" "ARgh, it's ok, i'm fine" i the ran back to my house.

I sat on my bed. Thinking if i should pretended i knew nothing and try to win her heart back or just end it. I don't think i can go on if this relationship didn't work out


MARION RAVEN - END OF ME
Hey Stay with me
As I'm getting naked
Stripped down to the bone
Hey I'm afraid
This could get ugly
And I might leave here alone

This is not a mistake I
t's the dawn of a new day
Anything goes from now

[Chorus :]This is the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle
I know it will be the end of me

Hey Talk to me
Don't play me with your silence
Whisper it in my mouth
Cause this is not about hate
It's the start of a new wave
Anything goes from now

[Chorus]

This is not a mistake the dawn of a new day this is not a mistake
HeyStay with me
Hey Stay with me
As I'm getting naked
This is the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence
If I'm caught in the middle I know it will be It's the last of illusions
This is the final trace of innocence I
f I'm caught in the middle I
know it will be
The end of me
Hey Yeah...

Kicked in the ribs after falling from the building.

After thinking for awhile. I realised that it's better for me to end my relationship with Nicole. I also realised that it's better for me to stay away from love forever. So, that was it, that was my decision end it with Nicole and be gay..

THE END.
























JOKING!!!. Wahahahha.

Okok. serious:
After thinking for awhile. I realised that it's better for me to end my relationship with Nicole. I realised that i shouldn't go on, letting myself get cheated by her. It's too painful. I guess that's the best for both of us.

The next day i called her out. I sat down with her. She didn't seem to act any differently. "Nic, i got something important to say" "sure dear" "I can't go on, i'm sorry but i wan to end it. End US" "WHAT?. what are you talking about why?" "I want to ask you why myself, is he really better than me?" "Who are you talking about?" "You sure know who i'm talking about NIc!" "Guess you got influenced by what eveeryone said, i thought you will be on my side, and believe me" "I did, but i saw it with my own eyes got damnit!" "Are you sure on what you saw?" "I KNOW WHAT I SA.., you know what? forget it!, i don't even care t know!, Just to tell you, i want out!" I then left

Nicole came after me. "wait, why won't even let me explain" "I don't wnat anymore excuses, you hurt me nic, i believed you and you broke my heart into pieces." "It's not what it seems, just let me explain..." "Save it" I then brushed her away and walked off. "Why won't you let me explain?, it's not what it seems" Tears broke free from my eyes, i felt like i dropped my heart back there. It was painful.but that was what only i could do.

The following week as a nightmare. I drank alot, trying to get mysself drunk But it only made things worst. I was close to insanity. But finally i calmed myself down and made a promise to myself. This promise is to keep a distance from emotions. This game of love isn't meant for me. Everytime i try to be a part of it i get bitten and spat out. So why force myself?.

Weeks pass. I joined my friends for a holiday at Redang Island. It was nice and refreshing. A chance to get away from the people i knew, the busy city. So i happily joined them. But their jokes and games didn't interest me that night. So i walked along the beach, enjoying the breeze on the lonely night.

As i walked, i noticed a group of people. They seemed to be arguing as i can hear they voices from where i was. Not wanting to get into trouble i made a little detour to walk around them. But as i passed them i heard a famliar voice. It was like Nicole's. I turn to see if it was her, but i couldn't be sure as it was dark. I wanted to approach to make sure but then it started to rain so i ran for cover. To my surprise the group remained there. The group started beating up each other .The girl tried to run but was caught hold by one of them. This time i was sure it was her. The guys was probably fighting over her for whatever reason. So i decided to go get her.

I ran to her..."NICOLE!!" "_____? HELP!!!" I wacked the person who is holding her and grab Nicole away. But as we were aout to escape the rest noticed and i became the public enemy. All of them, came after me. I was bashed and kicked. Fortunately i'm not such a wimp myself. I fought back fiercely, causing much pain to them. Other people finally noticed and the group of guys ran away.

All soaked in rain, we walked back. As i was walking i gave in to the pain as i fell. "Argh" "Are you ok?" she asked holding me. "Thx for helping me, they were trying to hit on me but ended up arguing with each other" I lightly pushed her hand away, "sure no problem" "Don't do this to me, i til haven't forgot about you, i stil love you.. You never gave me a ahcnace to explain that day, i was hurted too" "No, stop it...i ca'nt i won't.... i don't wanna go through all this again" I started crying. "IT"S TOo paINFLL!"

She hugged me from behind. "Plz...don't do thiis..i luv you. We can do this, don't let go..""ARgh" i fell back into the wet sand. I was confused. My mind was in a mess thinking whether i should go back to nicole. I lay on the wet sand feeling the rain hitting my face. Nicole then climbed on me (in a non sexual way if any of u horny people are wondering) , i opened my eyes and her face was infront of mine.

In the end, i couldn't run away from the fact that Nicole was my love. I held her closer to me as we embraced each other and kissed in the rain....

Life will always go on

A year has pass since the day at the beach. Nicole and I have been doing pretty good. We're really close. She quited her job as she found a better one. She is pretty high up in the coperate ladder. As for me, I'm doing well. Having my own busines i set up with my pals, i'm making real good money.

Valetines day, we headed out to an island off the coast of Sabah. Real relaxing. Had breakfast, exchanged gifts, made out back at the hotel, went for a swim. Just enjoying each other. We were really enjoying it. We joked and laughed, splashed water at each other. Soon it was evening and we walked along the beach. Arms around each other as we walked along the soft sandy beach.

We soon found a nice huge rock and we decided to climb and enjoy the sunset from up there. We were talking bout lots of things. Then she mentioned "I'll be going to Taiwan for quite awhile, my company is opening a new branch and i'm chosen to mange its progress""For how long?" "2years" "ic"

I was sad, things were going fine when we were forced to be seperated. I was pretty quiet but i guess things like this happens. "It's just 2 years, i'll try to come back as often as i can" "Cool" That was that. We were stil together but things were different. We chatted ad called each other when we got the chance, but it was rare since both of us were busy with our ownwork. My own business was expanding and needed lots of my attention. I was doing fine but the plain truth that i was lonely stared fiercely at me. We were stil attached but it doesn't really seem so, it was until we only emailed each other monthly.

One day one of my faithful big client invited me for his house warming. He' s a Tan Sri. So his house was huge. After socialising ad all, i walked around and found myself in the kitchen. There i saw a cute girl in a nice gown. I figured that it should be the Tan Sri's daughter, yet she looked really familiar. I approached her to get a better look. "Erm are you Jane?" "Lol you know my sis? No i'm her younger sis, Joyce" When she turned to look at me, i was totally memerized. Her sis, Jane was my old old friend. She's cute but she did't attract me. But Joyce was a whole different story. Real cute and young. I guessed that she's probably a few years younger, college age.

It seemd that both of us were so attracted to each other that for the next minute we stood there staring blankly at each other. "Erm...sorry...I'm _____. Is ur sis here? I din know she's the Tan Sri's daughter" i broke the awkward situation. *giggles* "No, she's living in the US now" "OIc, so what r u doing in the kitchen?" "Erm, just washing my hands you?" "Erm..i'm looking for the restroom" "Lol, it ain't here, it's right down that hallway, i'll show you" "Oo ok." After reaching.."Erm thx for walking me to the restroom, lol" "Sure, want me to walk you in?" "Haha, no i'm sure i'll be able to find my way" "Lol, ok" I then entered as she walked away"

The thought of me hitting on Joyce did crossed my mind. Yet i musn't, I'm stil attached to Nicole. Although i din really had the guilty feeling. Nicole and myself seemd so distant. It's felt like the flame of our love has almost faded. The perfect Nicole seemed too much like a corporate women puttig her job way ahead of me. It was also some time since i met and young energetic cheerful girl like Joyce. Really made me felt young and all. Being the young Entrepreneur i am, i mix with middle aged business mens more. I usually forgot that i'm stil at my early 20's. Stil young and at my prime. I should live life to the fullest. What i always proclaim when i was young. Sigh...*splashed my face with water* WaKE UP!!!.

When i exited i saw Joyce standing infont, she had the cute smile and light blushes, she waved at me. I gave a surprised smile. "What are you doig here?" "hehe, well i noticed that everyone else here are uncles and you're the one closest to me age, so it's more fun to hang with you" "Well, it's true" We then walked around and chatted happily. We clicked instantly. I had much fun.

We moved on the the quieter part of the garden and sat on the swing. Whoa talk about a romantic enviroment Cinderella douz, i thought. There we talked and flirted with each other. Soon the party ended and i have to leave. Before i said goodbye she came to me "Hey, erm i got a prom coming up, i'll luv it if you'd take me" "Erm....Hmmm." she then took my hands "plzzz", she looked up at me with her cute look and smile That totally melted my heart. i then covered her hand with mine rubbing it, i said "Well...."

Life will always go on

A year has pass since the day at the beach. Nicole and I have been doing pretty good. We're really close. She quited her job as she found a better one. She is pretty high up in the coperate ladder. As for me, I'm doing well. Having my own busines i set up with my pals, i'm making real good money.

Valetines day, we headed out to an island off the coast of Sabah. Real relaxing. Had breakfast, exchanged gifts, made out back at the hotel, went for a swim. Just enjoying each other. We were really enjoying it. We joked and laughed, splashed water at each other. Soon it was evening and we walked along the beach. Arms around each other as we walked along the soft sandy beach.

We soon found a nice huge rock and we decided to climb and enjoy the sunset from up there. We were talking bout lots of things. Then she mentioned "I'll be going to Taiwan for quite awhile, my company is opening a new branch and i'm chosen to mange its progress""For how long?" "2years" "ic"

I was sad, things were going fine when we were forced to be seperated. I was pretty quiet but i guess things like this happens. "It's just 2 years, i'll try to come back as often as i can" "Cool" That was that. We were stil together but things were different. We chatted ad called each other when we got the chance, but it was rare since both of us were busy with our ownwork. My own business was expanding and needed lots of my attention. I was doing fine but the plain truth that i was lonely stared fiercely at me. We were stil attached but it doesn't really seem so, it was until we only emailed each other monthly.

One day one of my faithful big client invited me for his house warming. He' s a Tan Sri. So his house was huge. After socialising ad all, i walked around and found myself in the kitchen. There i saw a cute girl in a nice gown. I figured that it should be the Tan Sri's daughter, yet she looked really familiar. I approached her to get a better look. "Erm are you Jane?" "Lol you know my sis? No i'm her younger sis, Joyce" When she turned to look at me, i was totally memerized. Her sis, Jane was my old old friend. She's cute but she did't attract me. But Joyce was a whole different story. Real cute and young. I guessed that she's probably a few years younger, college age.

It seemd that both of us were so attracted to each other that for the next minute we stood there staring blankly at each other. "Erm...sorry...I'm _____. Is ur sis here? I din know she's the Tan Sri's daughter" i broke the awkward situation. *giggles* "No, she's living in the US now" "OIc, so what r u doing in the kitchen?" "Erm, just washing my hands you?" "Erm..i'm looking for the restroom" "Lol, it ain't here, it's right down that hallway, i'll show you" "Oo ok." After reaching.."Erm thx for walking me to the restroom, lol" "Sure, want me to walk you in?" "Haha, no i'm sure i'll be able to find my way" "Lol, ok" I then entered as she walked away"

The thought of me hitting on Joyce did crossed my mind. Yet i musn't, I'm stil attached to Nicole. Although i din really had the guilty feeling. Nicole and myself seemd so distant. It's felt like the flame of our love has almost faded. The perfect Nicole seemed too much like a corporate women puttig her job way ahead of me. It was also some time since i met and young energetic cheerful girl like Joyce. Really made me felt young and all. Being the young Entrepreneur i am, i mix with middle aged business mens more. I usually forgot that i'm stil at my early 20's. Stil young and at my prime. I should live life to the fullest. What i always proclaim when i was young. Sigh...*splashed my face with water* WaKE UP!!!.

When i exited i saw Joyce standing infont, she had the cute smile and light blushes, she waved at me. I gave a surprised smile. "What are you doig here?" "hehe, well i noticed that everyone else here are uncles and you're the one closest to me age, so it's more fun to hang with you" "Well, it's true" We then walked around and chatted happily. We clicked instantly. I had much fun.

We moved on the the quieter part of the garden and sat on the swing. Whoa talk about a romantic enviroment Cinderella douz, i thought. There we talked and flirted with each other. Soon the party ended and i have to leave. Before i said goodbye she came to me "Hey, erm i got a prom coming up, i'll luv it if you'd take me" "Erm....Hmmm." she then took my hands "plzzz", she looked up at me with her cute look and smile That totally melted my heart. i then covered her hand with mine rubbing it, i said "Well...."

"Caught in the Middle "

"Well...if you want me to, i don't see why not". Joyce's face lighten up. "Reeeally?" she tighted her grip on my hand. "Yea sure" "Yay!, i'll call you kay?" "Sure, cool." We the waved to each other and i left. While driving back home in my EVO, i thought bout Joyce. Wow, she's such a cute chick. I grinned all the way home.

The next day, she called. We had a good time chatting. She's just filled with youth, innocence and fun. The whole coversation is filled with laughter. Besides all the jokes, we did get to share a lil more bout ourselves. It seemed to me that she's the unpredictable cute, lovable type. Lots of guys are after her, yet after all the puppy love she's tired of all the normal, uninteresting guys that went after her. So she told me that since last year she decided that the next guy she would be with next is someone she will go after. The prom is 2 weeks from now. I between i did manage to go out with her. It was real fun. But i gotta becareful cox i dunno what other ppl who knows me would say if they see me alone havig fun with a girl. I spoke with Nicole during that week. As usual she talked about her work most of the time. I just listened to her rantings, i couldn't tell her about my life as it involved Joyce mostly.

Prom night came, i picked her up. She just looked stunning. When we arrived at the hall, we grabbed all the attetion. I met some of her college friends and all. The night was fun, although i feel a lil out of place being with a hall full of students, but i was with Joyce. I noticed there was this other guy who was lookig at me ad Joyce pretty weirdly. I mean, others were lookig at us with envy but this guy is scary. "Who's that dude?" "Oh, he' my ex-boyfriend" "Ahaa, looks like he wanna start a fight" "He's a loser just ignore him, he actually changed college, so today he's here with another girl which happens to be my ex best fren. Long story, tell ya later" "Oohh ok"

The night went on and soon the dance floor was opened. I danced with Joyce, it was just so beautiful. Slowly dancing around the floor. All of a sudden, i felt a hard push from behind. It threw me off balance and i nearly fell. I saw that dude from before. "Hey, she's my girl." "WTF?" "What r u talkig about Ray?" "You're my girl, forever gonna be mine" "We're over since a long time ago!" "You left me for that other guy, but i never did forget you" "I don't care, i don't like you anymore" I thought to myself. OMG what have i gotten myself into. I want to say something but i realised i can't. I'm more to an outsider now. I just sat there listening, sipping on wine. One of Joyce's girl friends approaced me. "ARen't you goig to do somethig?" "LIke what?, i do't even know what they're talkig about" "Hm..true"


Then things got more heated up as Jay started to grab Joyce and all. "Ok, that's my cue" i told Joyce's friend. I shoved Jay away, "Hey she said she ain't into you nemore get it?" "who's this? your new victim?, new student? ain't seen him before" "He ain't a student, he's a nice successful hao lan yeng guy, unlike you" *blushes* "Ah fuck" "Yo, just fuck off man!" "Mind your own business" He pushed me. I then threw in my best punch directly on face knocking him out cold. "Punk!....HEH (lol) The whole crowd gasped.

"Well, i guess i gotta go" I then made my way out. "Hey wait, i'm coming" I Smiled at her then we walked out holding hands. "Thx, that was cool" "Lol was it?, well he was talking too much" So where to? "Hm with this formal clothes we can't go anywhere, lets head to the hotel to change" (we got this room to change since we were plannig to go out clubbing after the prom). So we changed to our casual clothes and went out.

"So where are we meeting your friends?" "Nah, i just wana go for a drink just with you, don't feel like seeing my frieds" "Hey, wuzup? you look real down. It' not like you" "I dunno, i may look happy and all all the time but..." "But?" she didn't reply. So we went to some bar where we ordered our drinks. "So you feelin better?" She finished her drink and said "My dad's rich but he got lots of other girls. Every night i hear my mother crying. Why are guys always unloyal?" , "It's a dck thing, men must conquer was many vuzzy as they can. You can't understand it unles you got a dck" "Well, sorry to hear that, guys are not all like that. It just varies on the individual and situation i guess." "So you're saying if a hot chick come seduce you, you're gona fall for her instantly?" "Nop, cute chicks" "Of cox not!, i won't break a girls heart" At this moment i remembered Nicole. The guilt is finally sippin in.

"In coll, i don't have any true friends. I can see they're all just using me, getting close for my money and popularity among guys, as for the guys they're just into my looks and money. In reality i'm lonely deep inside. Until i met you, you're someone who i can trully relate to. You seem so mature like a bro but much more. You seem to really care " I put my hands around her shoulder "I do care, truly and honestly. That's life, true good friends are hard to come by. That's why you gotta appreciate them when you got true friends." She placed her head on my shoulder and just remained silent. Later we drank ad drank. Yet not util we're drunk.

"We should head back, i'll send you home" "I don't want to go home" "You should..." "Don't be such an adult" "Alright let's go back to the hotel then". Well, we arrived and Joyce ran to the toilet. "haha, drank too much right" "Hmph". I then jumped on the bed, feeling so exhausted. "Ah....this feels so good". I melted into the bed feeling much comfort.

All of the sudden i felt something. When i opened my eyes, Joyce was on top of me. "WHAH!, you startled me. " "Don't need to be so afraid" "Who's afraid of a girl like you, not like you can do aything to me" "Oh yea?" She then kissed me hard on my lips. That felt like heaven but at the same time I thought of Nicole. Can i do this? Is this right, I'm becoming the very type of guy i hate, the unloyal one. But my love for Nicole just is't there. I know that what i'm doing is wrong and there's no excuse. But there isn't any more feel between m e and Nicole. SO i did't hold back. I grabed Joyce and intensify our kiss.

*fast forward*

It was the next morning. When i woke up Joyce was sleeping, arms around me. She's just so beautiful. I stroked her face to wake her up. She slowly opened her eyes. "Hi, mornin" "Mornin, had a good night"? "Nope, i had the best night" We then embraced and kissed each other. After breakfast, i sent her back. It was wonderful. The best night i had since Nicole left.

When i got home i nearly dropped my bag. There i saw Nicole waiting for me infront of my house. "Nic?, Er wow. What r u doin hre?" Nicole ran ad hugged me. She then kissed me. "SUrprised?" "Yea.." "I just got back, where did you go? I waited for a few hours already" "You didn't call me so.. ayways lets go in first". Lots went through my mind. What should i do?. Joyce was my love now, but seeing Nicole back does reminds me of the things we went through.

"We Belong Together"

I didn't mean it
When I said I didn't love you so
I should have held on tight
I never should've let you go
I didn't know nothing
I was stupid
I was foolish
I was lying to myself
I couldn't have fathomed that I would ever
Be without your love
Never imagined I'd be
Sitting here beside myself'
Cause I didn't know you'
Cause I didn't know me
But I thought I knew everything
I never feltThe feeling that I'm feeling
Now that I don'tHear your voice
Or have your touch and kiss your lips
Cause I don't have a choiceOh, what I wouldn't give
To have you lying by my sideRight here, 'cause baby

[Chorus:]When you leftI lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believeCome back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who else am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me on the phone
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody betterOh baby, baby
We belong togetherI can't sleep at night
When you are on my mind
Bobby Womack's on the radioSinging to me'If you think you're lonely now'
Wait a minuteThis is too deep, too deepI gotta change the station
So I turn the dial
Trying to catch a breakAnd then I hear Babyface
I only think of you
And it's breaking my heartI'm trying to keep it togethe
rBut I'm falling apart
I'm feeling all out of my element
I'm throwing things
CryingTrying to figure outWhere the hell I went wrong
The pain reflected in this song
Ain't even half of whatI'm feeling insideI need you
Need you back in my life baby

[Chorus][Repeat chorus]

When you leftI lost a part of me
It's still so hard to believe
Come back baby please, 'cause
We belong together
Who am I gonna lean on
When times get rough
Who's gonna talk to me
Till the sun comes up
Who's gonna take your place
There ain't nobody betterOh baby, baby
We belong together

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We Belong Together

I decided to tell Nicole the truth. Lying isn’t really what I do best. “Nic I’m sorry but while you’re gone, I’ve been…” “Sh I know, some of my friends saw you with another girl, so I thought it’d be safe to hire a private investigator” “You what?” “I’m glad you told me the truth before I even asked, you’re truly a great guy, but…” “But?” “I don’t think I can go on. It’s not fair for you. I left you, you still carry the responsibilities but you can’t have the joy of being with someone because of me.

“I love you, but now is the time where my career needs me most. I guess I’m the career minded type after all. So I guess it’s best I let go of you and let you free” “Don’t say it like we own each other Nic, being together means sacrificing and all” “I know but, why go on when love is the cause of pain?, it may bring the ultimate happiness but is it worth it?” “Nic…” “Don’t get me wrong I love you a lot baby, but unfortunately I love my work more. It’s nothing you’ve done wrong. In fact it was me choosing work over you, if I didn’t go to Taiwan you wouldn’t have seen Joyce. It’s the pain and loneliness; I know it’s hard to deny a fling with such a babe like Joyce”

Nicole smiled at me, eyes watery. “I don’t know what to say, because I agree” “ We may be a match made in heaven but….i guess there isn’t such thing as “we belong together” “I love you Nic” “Me too” We hugged and kissed for the last time before she left.

That was it, the perfect relationship with the perfect gal ended. I was sad but I knew it was unavoidable. After being torn by all these love games, I finally gave in and not fight it. I’ll just accept what’s brought upon me.

The next few months I was really busy, my business expanded so I didn’t had much time socializing with my friends. I did see “her” once in awhile as we still kept contact all this while. It got a lil awkward at every meeting as we were always alone with each other when we go out for movies or drinks. We were very comfortable with each other, perhaps too comfortable. We were that close. I still see Joyce very often too as I was working with her dad a lot. She seemed to still have a crush on me, but I soon realized she’s too playful for me. She will go out with many different guys and have night flings. Although I stopped having physical flings with her yet we were still friends.

In fact Joyce is already quite a celebrity, she’s an actress now. She soon gained fame but she lost it all in a big scandal with a politician. People soon avoided and condemned her, that’s when she went back to her daddy. I was the only one beside her. Now, Joyce is still the young happy girl yet the incident had humbled her. It seems to me that she’s slowly working to win my heart, she’s nice but I didn’t have time for love. I would try to keep her happy and do what she requests but as a friend, also because of her dad.

Time past as I finally had more time. Business was stable and good. I took this opportunity to get closer to “her”. We would meet often, although she already had a boyfriend, I didn’t have the intention of winning her heart. I was being a good friend to her. Many of my good friends commented that she deserved a guy like me instead of her current boyfriend. “Well that’s none of my business” was my common reply. So what if I was better or even closer?, So what if she’s more compatible with me?, So what if she even likes me?. I’ve learned that there is no such thing as “we belong together”. Being with her boyfriend was her choice; there isn’t anything I can do. So I just accepted the fact as usual.


One night, “she” called me and said that she got something important to tell me. We arranged to meet the following night. On that evening, I just remembered I promised Joyce to catch the latest movie. Calculating the time, I figured that I can make it for both. But things weren’t going as planed as Joyce wanted to go for a walk at the KLCC park after the movie. I smsed “her” telling her that I might be late. “I’ll be waiting here until you come. I won’t leave until I see you” that was what she replied. Joyce noticed that I was dreamy thinking of something else, so she snatched my phone away and kept it.

“Are you in a hurry?. Comon you’re with me now, let’s have fun” she then dragged me to the playground and we messed around. I didn’t dare say that I needed to go. She’s been using her dad to get to me these days so I fear for the worst if I angered her. I didn’t have the time as my phone was with her. But I figured that it was kinda late. “She” was all that was on my mind.

We lay on the field watching stars. Joyce lay next to me saying things. I was thinking about “her” so I didn’t know what she said. “She” was waiting patiently at the restaurant. Soon she was the only one left and the restaurant wanted to close. Looking at her phone and watch she slowly gave up hope. The waitress then politely told her they were closing.

Finally Joyce gave up and told suggested that we went home. I was happy; fortunately Joyce insisted that she took the cab. So I quickly hurried over to the restaurant. Unfortunately I forgot that my phone was with Joyce so I couldn’t contact “her”. When I reached, I felt like I let a million dollars slip through my hands as the restaurant was closed…

>End of the beginning.

"Well, I always had feelings for you, and i'm touched that you're going all out to tell me this. I love you too" I turned "her" face towards mine and we kissed under the starry night. After spending the night together i finally walked her back home. She waved to me as we bid goodbye. Who would have guessed that after so much, i would finally end up with "her". As the days passed, we did normal stuff couple does. We went out for movies, dinner, talk on the phone as much as we could. It was wonderful.

Soon we became really close, like normal couples we do argue. But i've never enjoyed being with someone as much as "her". No matter what we did together, it was sheer fun. We just fitted each other like a bolt and screw. It was so comfortable. We shared common views, most of the time at least. Being always there for each other was probably the main reason why we were that stable. It was loyalty too. Although, we work seperately and have different sets of friends we were always true. other guys and girls did try to come between us now and then but they didn't lasted long as neither one of us would flirt back.It's true that, there isn't a true line that seperates being just friends or more but somehow we managed to keep within the line. For that i guess i would consider our relationship lucky in a way as we rarely had any jealousy elements as it is such a big factor to a relationship breakdown. We shared smiles and laughter always. It was near perfect.

As time goes by we did't get bored or get tired of each other, our love was still as strong and fresh as day one. Unlike many other older couples we knew, we still lasted through the days. Many friends took us as their role model as we were still that close and loving after so long.
Soon i received an invitation card from Joyce. "She's getting married already? Wow that's fast!" "Yea..i heard it's with some other rich kid" I went to her wedding and congratulated her. I haven't seen her for quite awhile and it seems she has matured well. It's good to see she's finally found someone suitable for her.

Finally the day came, i decided that "she" is the one i would want to be with for the rest of my life. Yes i wanted to marry her. So one day i asked some of my close friends to come with me to choose a suitable ring and to brainstorm on the perfect marriage proposal.We got it all planned out, it was perfect. So i called "her" out for a date as usual. I reached early in case, after waiting till pass our meet up time "she" still haven't arrived. Feeling bored, i took out the ring to inspect it but it accidently fell from my fingers and rolled down the floor. As i picked it up, i felt that something was wrong. It was like those 6th sense thingy.

I then decided to call her on her cell but no one answered. Feeling that something was amidst i called her home. Still no one answered, i was beginning to get worried. I called all of "her" friends that i knew but no one got a clue where "she" was. I finally decided to go to "her" house.
When i reached the house was empty, i looked around to see if anyone was home. Then i saw their neighbour..."Hey, you're looking for the Chia's?" (hint hint) "Er yea, got any idea where they went?. I couldn't get "her"" "I heard they received some news and the mr & mrs rushed off shortly" "Oh really?, Thx i guess i'll have to call them" I really got a bad feeling something happened. I calmly dialed "her" mother's number.

Ring..ring...
"Hello? Auntie?..." "Hey!! something happened to "her" come now!, we're at gleneagles" "WHAT? what happened to her?" "She got into an accident, come quick!!" "OMG!!! OKOK!!" SHIT! why does this stuff have to happen?. I quickly rushed downtown towards the hospital and went to the emergency ward. There i saw "Her" being pushed out of the ward. "HEy!, darling. what happened?. Are you ok?" "she" was drenched in blood. When she saw me she looked at me and said " Sorry, i couldn't make it, baby" "Don't say such things, it's alright baby..stay strong." then "she" smiledThe nurses held me back after "Sorry sir, but we gotto get her to the operation theater ASAP" "Sorry"

I then watched as "she" was brought away. "Auntie, what happened?" *between tears* "I'm not sure ask that guy" "Excuse me...about that girl" "Yea, i brought her in. She was travelling quite fast and collided with a van at a corner. It was pretty bad" "OMG.thx...man" "Yea, i'm sure she'll be fine"

Hours past and finally the doctor came out. "How is "she"?" we all asked. "She lost alot of blood but she's in stable condition and is fine. The problem is, i think it was from a previous wound" "Yes doctor, she's been into an accident before" "Ah that explains it, well unfortuately this incident just made it worst in i'm afraid that she won't be able to walk again" "WhAT? you gotta be kidding doc!" "I'm sorry..."

I was horrified. I slumped on the chair ad covered my face. "No...this is a lie.this can't be happenning.." SOunds of loud cries from family and relatives echoed in my ears...

Finale: NO mountain high enough, no sea deep enough.

My heart was crushed. "SHE" not able to walk. My head was in a mess. I decided to leave the hospital to be alone, to cool down because with everyone there crying, it only makes things worst. I went out to have some drink and smoke.

Finally my head was cleared a lil and i headed back to the hospital. Right before i reached my phone rang. "Hey, you know Mr Jacobs?. He's hiring you to work on his project at the US. The catch is you are expected to start next week" "Erm...can i get back to you?, something came up" "No man, this is ur big break!, your golden opportunity, you'll make a name for yourself globally once this project is done!!!" "NO, you don't get it....I..." "Fuck you man!, don't you turn your back on me!, we're partners i've helped you in the begining, you owe me man. It's our big break! Come on!! "sigh. i guess you're right" "Whatever it is isn't at important as this. It can wait, it's just 3 months anyways" Alright ok"

My heart is in a dilemma. i know that i should be right with "her" to support her all the way through, especially since i decided i wanted to marry her. But this thing came up, i just couldn't say no. "She" couldn't walk anymore..it seems like i'm running away. Am I?.. I'm just to messed up to think. I went to see "her" later. She was still under the anesthetics "Erm.darling i'm sorry, but something came up and i think i may have to go...maybe for quite awhile. I'm so sorry..." I kissed her hands and went off. I knew that there's a 50 - 50 chance of me not seeing her ever again. Although the project is just 3 months but like my partner said, it's my big break. After that i would be offered many other projects and i may have to stay in the US.I felt like i just pointed a gun and pulled the trigger on "Her". I'm a monster, a heartless being, leaving her at the time where "she" needs me most.

When i left, "she" opened her eyes and wept. She was already awake...her heart ached.

A week passed and i was busy with the project in the US. "She" has gotten out of the hospital now but she has to move on a wheelchair from now. *No calls of mails has been sent between them*

"She" is slowly gettig used to getting aroud with a wheelchair but it's really hard. "she" learning how to drive using the specially modified car for the disabled but the problem was getting on and out of the car. "she" fell countless times and her arm is filled with bruises and cuts.

*One day*
As "she" was getting in the car, one man approched her and threw her out of the car. "Arhh!!!, NO!!!, what are you doing?!!! HELP!!!" The man slapped her and searched for her purse. "Just take it and leave!!! HELP!!" "IS THIIS ALL YOU"VE GOT?!" The unsatisfied man then got interest in "her" "NO.no plzz!!. i'm begging you nooooo!!! HELP!!" the man wanted to rape "Her" he forced himself on her and starts tearing off her clothes. Unfortunatly for "her" it was late and there wasn't anyone around the carpark to hear her cries.

But suddenly before the man could go further someone kicked him away. "ARgh" "You fucking lowlife!!!" "she" was on her stomach and couldn't see anything, "she" was terrified and was praying for it to be over. All "she" can hear is many punches ad kicks being thrown and then there was this loud crashing sound. Then "she" felt a hand around her. "She" squeeled. "It's alright now" "She" still didn't dare open her eyes but from the gentle touches of the mysterious man coverring her with clothes "she" knew that it was over. "She" was wrapped and then carried to someplace.

Finally "she" opened her eyes, "she" was shocked at the sight. "YOU?!" "Yea it's me" "But i thought you left for the US last week?" "I abadoned the project, i realized which was more important. It's you." "But....i can't walk aymore.." "SO what, you're still the person i know ad love" "she" was speechless and hugged me. "I'm real sorry for leaving you.." "
I brought her back and help her clean her wounds and then get her dressed up. "i see you went through alot even it's just a week" "yea.." "Realll sorry, i should have been with you. None of this would have happened then. " "It's ok...." "No it's not, erm.." *gets on knees* " I know it should be much more romantic and all but, let me take care of you for the rest of your life?...Would you marry me?" *shows a diamond ring* "she" was teary... "Are you sure you wanna do this?" "What kind of question is that?. I love you!!, of cox i want to do this" i then grabbed her hand and slipped the ring on her finger. "Aha, that's that you're MINE!" "Hey!, that's cheating!!, who said i agreed?" "Me la" "Hmph" "She" then poked my sides to tickle me. "Hey!" We played around and finally kissed and embraced each other...

We got married the following month. It was wonderful, although "she" was on wheelchairs yet "she" was still the great gal i loved. I have to do extra work helping her around and doing the housechores, but i don't mind. It's for "her". We didn't give up though, i brought "her" to the hospital every week to try to get her legs working.

Years pass and we're leading a nice simple loving life...although i did'nt have my big break i always dreamed of, but i have the ultimate happiness; being with "Her". Through love and support "her" legs was working and "she" was recovering well. Not long later, we got our first child, Athenie, she's a cute lil girl.

Well, finally i had my happy ending with the perfect girl that i was meant to be with all along.

8:50 AM
Zer0